Safely Laying in the Cleft of the Rock

I am inquisitive, I am deep, I am determined, I am a thinker, I'm curious, I stand up for what I believe, I am critical, I am arguementative, I am encouraging, I am a leader, I am invisible, I over analyze, I am wise, I am proud, I am a New Yorker, I try hard, I am found, I was lost, I love the Father, I am discerning, I am smart, I am fragile, I am negative, I am positive, I am a listmaker, I am desperate for change, I am a ragamuffin, I am judged, I am crazy, I am who I am.
"I carry my adornments on my soul." Cyrano De Bergerac


Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:12-14-

***Ways to Beat Satan with a Stick***
~Read your Bible
~Love others
~Go to church
~Encourage people
~Give someone a hug
~Tell your pastor he rocks
~Stay out of dark isolated areas with your boy/girl friend
~Talk to that shy kid
~Eat Soy crisps
~Verbally tell satan that he is a stupid idiot

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July 29, 2005
Its Been Good

Due to the circumstances in my life at this point in time ( I am taking leave from this blog. I am not sure if it will be permanent. But atleast for a while. I am moving, and I now have a job, among other things that will get in the way. Not that Ive been doing a good job lately of writing intereting things. But oh well. Soo you guys can just all check out my other blog, which i listen above, to keep in touch, and to see whats going on and such. Who knows, maybe God has different plans for me, and Ill be back writing all the time. Maybe. But goodbye for now. (atleast this summer).


Posted at 03:26 pm by that one girl
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July 15, 2005

      I have this amazing vision of me getting up early in the morning (9 am), eating breakfast, going for a nice long walk and then doing something productive. So everynight I set my alarm clock for 9:22, because I keep my clock 22 minutes fast (dont ask, I dont even know), and go to bed (around 1 am). Sleep Sleep Sleep.

      BEEP BEEP BEEP. slap. I am awake, "but maybe" I think to myself, "I could just lay my head down and rest a little more." So I do that, and wake up around 9:30 (real time).
    The next morning's senario goes like this:
    BEEP BEEP BEEP. slap. ohh just a little bit more sleep. and I reawake to see its 10:05am.

   I am quite upset by this, because my vision is just going down the toilet. So I set my alarm clock once more.

   And I wake up. I look at the clock, all ready to go, but its 11:30am. I never even heard the alarm clock.

   Yesterday I was reading through something I had written and realized how negative it was.  Earlier this year I had made it an issue to work on being positive more.  I wanted to be the one who was always spurring people on to greatness, never had a bad thing to say about anyhting, or as my teacher would say, "I didnt want to define myself by the negative."
The Holy Spirit would frequently guide my thoughts and turn them around when I would be ready to speak crap.
    But I guess I just started getting used to the Holy Spirit, maybe even brushing Him off because it was too hard. So everytime He would say something in my heart, I would just make excuses. "I will just work on being positive when things in my life are going better." "When school starts." "When I am at church." "Maybe later."

   And reading what I had written was like waking up at 11:30. I never even heard the alarm. I had gotten so used to ignoring the Holy Spirit with that issue, that I DIDN'T even hear him anymore when dealing with my negativity.

  What Im trying to get off to you is not how bad I am at waking up in the morning (arent we all? lol), or how negative I have been lately in my words in general.  I want to tell you that you should not get used to the Holy Spirits guiding. Or maybe I should say that you shouldn't get used to ignoring it. Because you will ignore it just a little bit once, and it will snow ball from there. One day you will wake up and realize you dont even hear it anymore. Thats bad.

Practical Help:
-Read Gods word often. This is a good way to check yourself. (a highly important way actually)

-Obediance is the H.S. tells you to do it.
   if he tells you not to do it....dont do it

-Have conversations with God. Dont just talk the whole time...listen.

-If you think you have become ignorant of the H.S. in an area of your life, do something that will push you harder and get you our of your little safety net of excuses. (if you are too negative=go on a mouth fast. Write bible verses on flash cards and put them all over your house, your car. Listen to positive music. .....If you have slowly declined into sexual activities= totally stay away from the places where you meet your partners, get an accountability partner of the same gender, blow up the computer.)

-Talk to your senior pastor, youth pastor, associate pastor, lay pastor, discipleship group leader, bible studies teacher. These people want to help and will be willing to pray for you and give you further advice.

-Keep a journal and daily record your growth in this area.

-God Bless everyone and have a delightful day-

..btw- I moved my alarm clock across the room, so now when it goes off I have to WALK across the room, and about this negativity thing...I deleted all the negative parts of my writting piece. and wrote positive ones...Im working on it.

Posted at 06:03 pm by that one girl
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July 13, 2005
Obdediance is what We are called to, and its HARD.

  I have this awesome link for yall to click on. Its a sermon by a Pastor that I really admire, I foud out about him online last year while I was trying to get my Bible study group together, his sermons really helped me.
  This one is about 1 John 2, and its really good.

And I have to pray in front of youth group tonight, and i am using these verese to go on, and this sermon has also helped me tremendously.

Have a beautiful day everyone!

Posted at 02:08 pm by that one girl
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July 5, 2005
O Canada!

I work at the public library here in town, and I help with craft time with the kids, mostly ages 5-12. Its my job to just walk around and help kids with their craft. Well today during our O Canada Day wreath craft, I saw a parallel between these kids main objective: to finish the little craft to the best of their ability, and our main objective as christians: to finish our little call(job, vision, raok, life).

   A few of these kids are masters of the library craft time. They skillfully color and cut, ribbonate and glitterate.  They hardly try, it just comes naturally.Their end product is nothing short of amazing and breath taking.

    And some of the kids try their best. They crookedly cut, tongue stuck on the side of their mouth while their little eyes and hands are focused on the task. They put glue down for the glitter, just a few places out of the lines, and they string macaroni, working as hard as they can to get the red white and blue pattern exact, but messing up and accidently putting red side by side twice. They take their time, sometimes being the last ones at the table while everyone else is down on the floor watching the movie selection.You cant help but like their finished creation despite it being little rough.

  And then there are the kids who dont give a crap about the final product. They get some paper, slap some marker on it, do a little dance, run around the tree (our kids room is an "orchard", with fake trees surrounding it) and call it a craft. Its sloppy and directionless, with no thought or harldy any effort. Its garbage. 

  I think the first type of kid represents alot of people who claim to be christians. They grew up in the church, with christian parents, they know how to do it. They might not even have a deep relationship with God, but their actions just come out as perfect, the person who seems to do everything right. People trust them, come to them with questions about God, and look up to them. But in reality they are just working the system most of the time. 
  The second kid equals the real christian. They work hard at getting to know God, reading their bible, understanding what they believe. They want to please God and do the right thing, but sometimes they slip up. They are humble and know they cant always do everything right. But they try their hardest and put alot of effrt into their christian walk.
   And lastly their are the christians that go no farther than saying the salvation prayer. They think that that is enough to prosper and succeed at the christian life. Basically getting by by the skin of their teeth. They will do what costs them the least, not sacrificing or trying real hard.  And thats good enough for them.
                                                                                                                                                                                                     I know that these examples dont represent all christians, but I think it represents a good hunk of them. As for myself I waver between the first and second type. I know how to be a christian in my head, I was raised one, but sometimes I use that for my benefit, not really meaning what Im doing, just going through the actions, and sometimes I really mean it, I really strive to know God more, and try hard to understand what Im doing in this life.
              I dont know about you, or where you fit into this whole thing, but maybe you want to take a few minutes to ponder what type of christian you are. Do you work the system using yor knowledge of whats going on, do you try your hardest at spiritual growth, or do you not really care at all? God loves you no matter where you fit in, but He sees our potential and wants us to see it as well.  Hope everyone has a great day today!!


Posted at 12:57 pm by that one girl
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July 1, 2005
All I ever wanted to be was You

Im working on an entry. Im sorry its been a while since I posted anything intelligent. Hope everyones doing marvelously. And their summer is rocking!!! Anyone got goals for the summer? Mine are coming along smoothly!

Ive been working alot at the library. And this whole week was crazy at night because of Kids crusade. Ahh, but so satisfying.

Have a good one...later dudes

Posted at 03:19 pm by that one girl
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June 24, 2005
a loner

   Certain things in life agitate me. The sound of food being chewed, feet, watching a movie twice, and the dog barking.  And when people are being loud and obnoxious. I cant handle these things. They make me frustrated and give me anxiety, because I know that I cannot escape from them. I dont know why, but thats what happens.
  And right now in the other room, people are being loud and annoying, and the dog is barking. Im trying to refrain from flipping out. Now you might be like, ohh just chill out Alissa. But seriously, they just get on my nerves. I like quiteness, and I like being by myself. Thats who God made me.

mmmmmmm. Anyways, my goals, ya know the ones I talked about yesterday are coming along ok. I had a hard time waking up this morning. Umm I got up at noon. So that might be the hardest thing about summer. Waking up in the morning.
   Im reading this book about Mister Rogers and His Faith, and its really good. Its actually given me some insight and challened me spiritaully and relationally. I know It sounds dorky, but its a good book.

                    "You are Loved...........................And so are they."

Talking about how most people only get the first half of this truth in their life. But the second part of it makes it a whole truth. (they means everyone else in the world) I dont know about you, but I think thats deep.

[excuse my weird mood today]

Posted at 02:39 pm by that one girl
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June 23, 2005
I will NOT waste my summer!!!

   Last summer I basically wasted. I slept in till noon everyday. I was hardly different from when I started. This year, uhuh. No more. Life is to precious to waste. Summer is to much time to blow. So this year I made goals. I actually just made them up last night.
  1. Grow deeper in my relationship with God- through reading my bible and praying everyday, thinking about the spiritual and evaluating myself periodically.
  2. Get a better relationship with people from youth group- im not the best relational person, so ive messed up alot, but i hope to foster better friend relationships with them by hanging out more, talking more, planning fun outings, etc.
  3. Read 4 classic books. And Im talking classic, like pre 1950. A great Classic of literature. This will be a simple objective to obtain because i volunteer at the library like 3 times a week.
  4. Get vision/ideas/prepared for next year, when I will be a junior- i will research manythings i have thoughts about, pray about it, and just think about stuff.
  5. Get rid of my hideous farmers tan. Ewww. Its bad. And Im not even a farmer.

Yeah those are my goals. I dont want to blow this summer. I want to grow. I want to use all this extra time to do something useful.  I encourage anyone else to do this too. It can be a group experience. anyone else want to join? Heh. I am now off to go work on life. ohh, but dont think im all serious all summer...there is still definitly time for fun and play. all the way...hey its summer!!!

Recommended movies:
Hitch- (Will Smith) believe it or not this movie does not have a sex scene
The Perfect Man- (Hillary Duff, Heather Locklear) this is a chick flick, but its quite endearing, and hilarious.
Wild Hearts Can't be Broken- For those of you who like cheesy early 90's Hallmark films.

"Its easier to read about something than to actually do it."

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ”- Isaiah 40:31

*****OH yeah one more thing, does anyone know what a "ratscalion" is?

Have a Fantastic day everyone

Posted at 11:09 am by that one girl
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June 17, 2005
The Break In---Part 2

   Ok, so on with my story.

    So after they called, I got really scared and petrified. What we did began to sink in. So i grabbed my cell phone and casually headed outside. I walked through our yard, and hid in back shed and tried to call everyone that was involved to let them know what was going on. I could only get ahold of one girl, and she was scared too. So the whole night I was praying that God would just give me mercy up the caboodle. But also that I would get right justice.
    I had set my alarm for 8:30, so I could try calling everyone before Jorins parents could. I finally got ahold of Nate, and told him the deal. Hes like "Oh No." "I guess all we can do is just apologize."
    Then at 11am, I had to walk to school to take my Math A Regent. I didnt talk to jorin though. He looked mad at me. But Jorins dad took Nate aside and had a nice long talk with him.

     The my dad comes home, and I tell him what happened, and he flipped out. Although He controled himself nicely. And Jorins dad calls my dad but he wasnt there for some reason. Thank God, because I would have been in majorly trouble. So my dad then calls Nates mom, and tells her that Nates not allowed to come to our house like ever again...etc.

   Later that night i drove to walmart with my mom and sister, and we saw Jorins mom, sisters and brother. It was highloy awkward, because I thought they were mad at me, or thought i was a delinguint or something. Me and my sister walked to the car, and my mom stayed and talked to their mom about the whole deal.
   My mom comes back and tells me that Mrs Roe is totally over it. She forigves us all. They were only super upset because they had just cancelled their Security system last week, and then we broke into their house.
  I went over later and apologized for myself, and all of us. We declared that it was just a stupidity thing, and that we all do stupid things, and she forgave me, and we declared it water under the bridge. Thank the Lord.

   Basically I was terrified that It would become some big thing, and the police would be called (we were all 16, so we would be tried as adults), and Id have to be kicked out of student council and apologize in front of the whole school or something.

   But it all good. God helped me get through that, and i learned important lessons about myself and life in general:
 1. I need to go with my instincts (my insticnt was that it was a bad idea in the first place)
 2. I need to be more a leader
 3. Never break into anyones house
 4. Think about what your doing, and all of the possible outcomes
 5. Make sure you hang out with good people, that have a decent view of right/wrong
 6. Whats funny to me, might not be funny to others
 7. God shows compassion, but hes also a just God
 8. You can pray that people will be more clear headed, it works

Anyways, Im ok. Everyones ok. We arent getting arrested, but Im not allowed to have anymore parties for a while. lol. Later

Posted at 02:52 pm by that one girl
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June 16, 2005
Ok, Heres the dealy-O

Ok Guys. You prolly want to know what is up. Here it is straight up.

   I had a party of all my peers yesterday. We finished finals early...before lunch, so everyone came over and chilled. Well my parents werent home. But they KNEW about the party, so dont think im a crazy rebel or whatever.
   And a few of my friends and I walked to riteaid. And we bought these awesome cards that were all like lovey dovey "oh i love you, you bring so much light into my life" etc. We were going to stick them on peoples cars and whatnot. So we put one on a car on the way back.
   Ok so before we left to go to rite-aid, one of the kids at my party, Jorin,  had to go to work, so him and his family drove away, leaving the house desolate. Earlier, we had told him we wanted to borrow a movie.
     THEN, Nate pinged this "awesome" idea. Why dont we break into his house and get the movie!!! Isn't that a good idea? pshh.  We went around his house looking for a way in. The doors were locked. The next best thing, a window!! So Nate jiggled the bathroom window opened and climbed in. Then someone had another awesome idea of leaving one of the previously mentioned cards on Jorins bed. We thought it would be amazingly funny. That he would just find the card and laugh. So Nate climbed back out, grabbed the card and went back in.
   Three of us were waiting outside, and this one guy in a red pickup kept driving by. I guess cuz gee maybe we were acting a little suspicious. hah. So Nate finally comes out because he couldnt find the movie. And we all go back to my house thinking it would be the most amazing joke ever. Now we had no malicious intent whatsoever. but anyways...
   Everyones gone, everything put back in place from the Halo 2, Texas Holdem, and "Cinderella Story" happenings, the parents are home, its all cool. Right? At 11 o'clock, jorin calls me on my cell and is freaking out at me. I can hear his mom in the back ground yelling and being all upset. Hes all like "DID YOU GUYS BREAK INTO MY HOUSE!!! WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO>> WHO WAS IN, HOWD you GET IN???" And I heard his mom in the background  "I really could call the cops on them." 
    Well, they were mad. I would say that p'od would be the best phrase.
 And Im really tired right now, so I will have to finish the story tomorrow, but here are a few verses that I read last night from Lamentations, that really spoke to my heart about this whole thing:
    Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed,
       Because His compassions fail not. 
       They are new every morning;
       Great is Your faithfulness....
    ...For the Lord will not cast off forever. 
       Though He causes grief,
       Yet He will show compassion
       According to the multitude of His mercies....
    ...To turn aside the justice due a man
       Before the face of the Most High, 
       Or subvert a man in his cause--
       The Lord does not approve.

The rest is coming tomorow, thanks for all your prayers everyone, i needed it,

Posted at 10:22 pm by that one girl
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June 15, 2005
Oh Dear

     Jesus. Sweet Jesus. I am in really big trouble right now. Me and a few of my friends did something today that was really bad. Like Im talking the police could take us away. I am really scared right now. We thought it would be funny. And it was at the time. Its certainly not now. I cant say what happened, but it didnt involved death, or anything with guns or drugs.
   You guys, I am just really scared. I am the freakin chaplain of my highschool, a youth group leader, on the student council!!! I dont know what to do. I feel ruined. My parents havent found out yet, but they certainly will tomorrow when they get the call.
    Please pray for me. I know I will get what I deserve, but please pray for mercy on my behalf. I knew it was wrong, but i didnt walk away. Jesus. Jesus. Help me.


Posted at 10:56 pm by that one girl
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